Insomnia
I cannot tell you how much I would rather be asleep. It's 4:45 am, and I'm sitting here, at the computer, in my pajamas, and freezing.
I've been awake for a while. My mind keeps playing an episode from a TV show that's not real--the episode isn't, I mean. My imagination is making it up. And it's no good. No sense of plot, mediocre character development, etc.
But that's not what's really keeping me awake. I was too hot. Mainly my feet. Try sleeping with your feet at like 105 degrees Fahrenheit. DOES NOT WORK. And if the hot feet and fake TV episode weren't enough, the spiders were doing their job.
It's autumn, which means it's cold outside, which means the bugs are coming INSIDE--which is oh-so-gross. I've been finding a spider or two tramping around the apartment lately, and Kegan comes up with a new bite on his arm/neck/other limb everyday, it seems.
When I was a kid I would stuff my blanket into the crack between my bed and the wall so as to stop the spiders from crawling up the wall and traipsing around on my face during the night. I was paranoid. Whatever. I'd like the same set-up now, thanks. I'm 95% sure I flicked a spider out of my hair about 30 minutes ago--back when I was in bed and still attempting to sleep.
Why is it that we have to deal with spiders in the fall? Why couldn't it be ladybugs that come inside our homes and start showing up on a couch, scampering up a wall, trotting across a pillow? Ladybugs are so much less threatening. Not that these little household spiders are dangerous. Just disconcerting. Ladybugs, on the other hand, have beautifully colored shells and pleasant demeanors and they eat aphids off roses (a very noble work). I would so much rather have them over for a dinner party. The only concern would be that I wouldn't want to roll over and squish one in my sleep and get that yellow goo on my sheets that is either their guts or excrement.
As great as this little discussion has been--I'd really rather go to sleep. Maybe the spiders have deduced from my absence that I do not appreciate their presence and they've decided to leave me alone for the rest of the night. I honestly think I would feel better if I went back in the bedroom and made a speech before lying down. Something that involved standing with my hands on my hips and starting with, "Okay, listen up spiders, and listen GOOD..." and then continuing on to tell them my grievances, inform them that I'm boss (if you ACT confident, sometimes you can fool them into believing you really ARE), and then warning them that I will have the mack-daddy of bug sprays with me on Monday so they had best try and get on my good side and CLEAR OUT.
But who knows. Maybe I'll just wrap myself cocoon-like in a blanket (really tight, so the spiders can't get in), turn on all the lights, and watch the Food Network a while.
I've been awake for a while. My mind keeps playing an episode from a TV show that's not real--the episode isn't, I mean. My imagination is making it up. And it's no good. No sense of plot, mediocre character development, etc.
But that's not what's really keeping me awake. I was too hot. Mainly my feet. Try sleeping with your feet at like 105 degrees Fahrenheit. DOES NOT WORK. And if the hot feet and fake TV episode weren't enough, the spiders were doing their job.
It's autumn, which means it's cold outside, which means the bugs are coming INSIDE--which is oh-so-gross. I've been finding a spider or two tramping around the apartment lately, and Kegan comes up with a new bite on his arm/neck/other limb everyday, it seems.
When I was a kid I would stuff my blanket into the crack between my bed and the wall so as to stop the spiders from crawling up the wall and traipsing around on my face during the night. I was paranoid. Whatever. I'd like the same set-up now, thanks. I'm 95% sure I flicked a spider out of my hair about 30 minutes ago--back when I was in bed and still attempting to sleep.
Why is it that we have to deal with spiders in the fall? Why couldn't it be ladybugs that come inside our homes and start showing up on a couch, scampering up a wall, trotting across a pillow? Ladybugs are so much less threatening. Not that these little household spiders are dangerous. Just disconcerting. Ladybugs, on the other hand, have beautifully colored shells and pleasant demeanors and they eat aphids off roses (a very noble work). I would so much rather have them over for a dinner party. The only concern would be that I wouldn't want to roll over and squish one in my sleep and get that yellow goo on my sheets that is either their guts or excrement.
As great as this little discussion has been--I'd really rather go to sleep. Maybe the spiders have deduced from my absence that I do not appreciate their presence and they've decided to leave me alone for the rest of the night. I honestly think I would feel better if I went back in the bedroom and made a speech before lying down. Something that involved standing with my hands on my hips and starting with, "Okay, listen up spiders, and listen GOOD..." and then continuing on to tell them my grievances, inform them that I'm boss (if you ACT confident, sometimes you can fool them into believing you really ARE), and then warning them that I will have the mack-daddy of bug sprays with me on Monday so they had best try and get on my good side and CLEAR OUT.
But who knows. Maybe I'll just wrap myself cocoon-like in a blanket (really tight, so the spiders can't get in), turn on all the lights, and watch the Food Network a while.
posted by Sylvia Louise at
3:45 AM
4 Comments:
Yeah, I hate those spiders. And so it was hot when you were trying to sleep, but freezing when writing this post? Hmmm... I dunno what to tell you. Let's buy some spider traps tomorrow.
hey. sorry about the spiders. i've rub across a few lately too and i keep worrying they're going to bite olivia.
yesterday i killed one on my way in to get her up from a nap and i half expected there to be an enormous spider standing over her ready to kill in an effort to level the playing field. there wasn't. thank heavens. but, just in case, i had my speech about how it's much easier for spiders to have babies all prepared in my head.
anyway, you might consider calling maintenence though. they got rid of the ants we had last summer.
*run across. not rub. eew.
Usually when I'm talking this I'm talking about ants and cockroaches and centipedes. (Jake calls these my "Crazy Ant Rants".)
We have tons of spiders but I consider them minor to everything else. Except when you're talking about cane spiders. Scary buggers. Our friend slept on our floor last night and woke up with a huge cockroach on his face. He told us (he's a scientist) that bugs are attracted to carbon dioxide, which is why they want to crawl on your face. I've noticed that if I throw them down off my face in the middle of the night they will sometimes come right back. You have to force yourself to hold them and take them to be disposed of, which always gives me the willies.
Yeah. Lovely.
Did I mention my neighbor just found she has bedbugs?
I probably shouldn't mention it. I think I may be scaring you away from Hawaii.
We DON'T have snakes. Does that help?
I've been sleepless lately, too. 4am the night before last, 1:30 am last night. We can party together from a distance.
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