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I have been trying to find a way to live in Alaska since about my sophomore year of college. I've searched for jobs there (who doesn't want to work in a fish cannery?) I've looked into transferring to a university there (University of Alaska Anchorage, to be exact) and I even got my mom on my small bandwagon (last summer and the year before she suggested that I try to go there to work). As of yet, I have been unsuccessful in pinning down a plausible reason to go. For a while I thought it would be terribly romantic if I could move out there and work on a local newspaper and starve away on a below-poverty-line paycheck.
For some reason I think that I belong there. In fact, I feel like I belong anywhere I want to go. Wales, for example. I definitely belong in Wales. I also belong in Iceland, Guatemala and Tibet (I had a torrid two-day love affair with the idea of going to Tibet. I even checked airfare prices. Who would fit in with the Tibetan monks better than I? I had visions of shaving my head and wearing orange robes. Seriously. And this was like last year). I also belong in the Middle East--definitely. And Antarctica. And Japan. And Denmark. And Iowa. And, etc etc
It was the same with Spain. All while growing up I dreamed of going to Europe. I felt sure that I would "find myself" there. I was certain that I belonged there. I went to Madrid and even though I spoke Spanish poorly and was clearly a tourist (our professor told us not to wear shorts--"a dead giveaway that you're American." Believe me, they knew anyway) I felt at home there. We'd walk around in those massive, BEAUTIFUL cathedrals and I felt a calm sense of familiarity. Every time I learn about some place and want to go there, I get this feeling that I have a niche there. That in some strange, quiet way, it's where I belong.
For some reason I think that I belong there. In fact, I feel like I belong anywhere I want to go. Wales, for example. I definitely belong in Wales. I also belong in Iceland, Guatemala and Tibet (I had a torrid two-day love affair with the idea of going to Tibet. I even checked airfare prices. Who would fit in with the Tibetan monks better than I? I had visions of shaving my head and wearing orange robes. Seriously. And this was like last year). I also belong in the Middle East--definitely. And Antarctica. And Japan. And Denmark. And Iowa. And, etc etc
It was the same with Spain. All while growing up I dreamed of going to Europe. I felt sure that I would "find myself" there. I was certain that I belonged there. I went to Madrid and even though I spoke Spanish poorly and was clearly a tourist (our professor told us not to wear shorts--"a dead giveaway that you're American." Believe me, they knew anyway) I felt at home there. We'd walk around in those massive, BEAUTIFUL cathedrals and I felt a calm sense of familiarity. Every time I learn about some place and want to go there, I get this feeling that I have a niche there. That in some strange, quiet way, it's where I belong.
posted by Sylvia Louise at
11:35 AM
3 Comments:
Hey Amanda. Doni here. I have a friend who worked in Alaska on a cruise ship for 3 months one summer with her fiance. They loved it. It paid well. It's a cruise ship. Do it do it.
We need wilderness whether or not we ever set foot in it. We need a refuge even though we may never need to go there. I may never in my life get to Alaska, for example, but I am grateful that it's there. We need the possibility of escape as surely as we need hope; without it the life of the cities would drive all men into crime or drugs or psychoanalysis.-Edward Abbey, "Desert Solitaire"
I have always dreamed of living in Alaska...I even got offered a solid job there once, but Provo in the summertime won out somehow. I still plan to go there someday, not as a tourist, but for real. (though, if all I can get is as a tourist, I'll take that chance too.)
A friend of mine was about this close (picture my fingers in a pinch) to working on a fish boat where she would be gutting fish for 12 hours at a time.
Thankfully I have never had such an urge.
I am wondering, why do you not picture yourself in a nice sunny place like Hawaii? I think you should picture yourself there. Here, I mean.
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