Going to the pool? Just let me pull on my smock.
I have needed a new swimsuit ever since I bought the one that I have (well, I have two--they're both bad news). It has some rather unforgivable flaws that I will not expound upon.
As far as clothing shopping goes, trying to find a swimsuit has got to be THE worst. Every one fits differently, and usually not in a good way. I want to see the girl that fits perfectly into every suit--frankly, I don't think she exists.
Here's the deal: I know exactly what I want. Here's the problem: nobody makes it (or else they make something slightly close to it, but for about $300). Is it overreacting to think that maybe I should've studied fashion design instead of English?
You know what's wrong with swimsuits on the whole? Their very purpose, which is to take the body in a state of near nakitude and then put something on it that is both tight and often unflattering, and then to have you parade around on a beach, the edge of a pool, on a raft going down a river, etc. It just doesn't make sense.
The line between "young" and "mature" bathing suits is clear. "Young" generally means bikini. "Mature" means it has one of those ruffled skirts that is supposed to hide things like stretch marks and cottage cheese thighs. Why can't we have swimming smocks? Here, come get your swimming smock--any color you want! Just pull on this miniature tent and off you go! Feel free! Go on, parade about in your smock! Prance if you want!
As far as clothing shopping goes, trying to find a swimsuit has got to be THE worst. Every one fits differently, and usually not in a good way. I want to see the girl that fits perfectly into every suit--frankly, I don't think she exists.
Here's the deal: I know exactly what I want. Here's the problem: nobody makes it (or else they make something slightly close to it, but for about $300). Is it overreacting to think that maybe I should've studied fashion design instead of English?
You know what's wrong with swimsuits on the whole? Their very purpose, which is to take the body in a state of near nakitude and then put something on it that is both tight and often unflattering, and then to have you parade around on a beach, the edge of a pool, on a raft going down a river, etc. It just doesn't make sense.
The line between "young" and "mature" bathing suits is clear. "Young" generally means bikini. "Mature" means it has one of those ruffled skirts that is supposed to hide things like stretch marks and cottage cheese thighs. Why can't we have swimming smocks? Here, come get your swimming smock--any color you want! Just pull on this miniature tent and off you go! Feel free! Go on, parade about in your smock! Prance if you want!
posted by Sylvia Louise at
1:09 PM
8 Comments:
This problem is easily solved. A t-shirt/tank top and board shorts. Trust me. Much more attractive and less awkward for guys
Yes, yes. But the suit in an of itself shouldn't be awful. I mean, what if you're really trying to swim? Then having your whole closet on in addition to that idiot spandex contraption is a bit of a hassle. Smock. I'm telling you. SMOCK.
Maybe you should convert your snuggie into one...
Jealous. You are so jealous. Don't hate me because I have a snuggie.
You have a SNUGGIE?! You and my blogger friend Kristina P. should get together.
Oy vey. Now you're seeing I'm blogstalking you. Promise, this is the first time. Of course I had to follow you over from your comment on Keg's blog.
Totally get you on the swimsuit thing. I wear a swimsuit with boardshorts. I have often been surprised how running around in your underwear is nudity, but skin tight body texture through "clothing" is not. It has taken me a while to realize that everyone is so worried about looking at themselves that they're not worried about you. That and give yourself a few years to realize that you looked fabulous at 20-25 and you should have been flaunting your nakitude for the world all the time. I mean, you'd be doing them a favor.
I do indeed have a snuggie. Sort of. My brother decided it would be the ideal Christmas gift for both my mother and myself (he told us this after we watched the commerical on youtube and mocked it). But I probably won't actually get my hands on it till July or something. Horror of horrors. Have you ever read Traveling Mercies by Annie Lamott? She discusses the swimsuit issue and refers to her thighs as two dear old aunties who embarrass her sometimes, but she really loves.
OH man. Who loves their thighs?
That's confidence. I was talking more about the weird uncle who doesn't wear shoes but you tolerate. As a pair they're insufferable. I so much prefer that they're on me, however. Then I don't have to look at them. Especially the back.
Here is the snuggie girl:
http://adamandkristinapulsipher.blogspot.com/
I actually saw the commercial for the snuggie a while ago and I seriously stopped what I was doing and said, "That is brilliant!" Jake said, what's wrong with just a blanket?
I said: "Idiot, THIS thing has SLEEVES!"
Actually LIKING the snuggie. This is a concept I hadn't been aware of. Mostly my thoughts circulate around wondering if my backside will get cold (I don't think there's Velcro to fasten the back flaps or anyhing) and thinking that everyone who wears it looks like they're part of the way there on becoming a Catholic priest.
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